The good news: I am being taken seriously as a sick person and not as a manifestation of depression. The bad news: I am still sick. And tired. And too much of a stoic for my own good. Too much of a self doubter.
I think I finally got it across to Erik today that being raised by a schizophrenic well known in the county in which I grew up has made me very self conscious about people perceiving me and how they interpret my mental illness. I was nervous about the doctor's visit, worried that I wouldn't be taken seriously- particularly when I saw the encounter form read,"Depression." Erik was my rock. I have some wonderful support from friends and co-workers. I feel less embarrassed and ashamed of the fact that I am ill and out of control of what is happening with my body.
So I'm off work for two weeks at this point. I'm feeling relief that I'm being listened to. And I am ready to rest.
2 comments:
Glad they took you seriously, and that you are getting some time off to hopefully recoupe.
As another child of a mentally ill parent. I sympathize with the self-doubts and worries about what others think. One of the things that I have found hard to deal with as a volunteer is that while I have made friends I'm always worried about crossing that TMI line. It makes it hard to reach out when you think that you will be rejected or worse.
If you ever want to chat online sometime let me know. I am still on AIM, and have Skype now (which is a free comp. to comp. phone service). My comp. crashes when I try to run Yahoo messenger though. Don't have enough free space I guess.
Just jumping in here to be off topic and say thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou For your help yesterday.
I was a little worried myself about just being blown off as whining. I was actually all set in my mind to drive myself down and the EMT part of me goes "YOU WERE WHAT?"
But tho chest pain in other people is to be treated as an MI until proved otherwise, I can never get over the feeling that I'm just making a big deal out of nothing.
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