The back yard. The tree is skewed because of my perspective. Quite frankly, it suits for the time and mood. I'm a little off kilter from upright and uptight. A tilted, heavily snowed upon fir seems somewhat appropo at this time.I've finally, after four different stints as an office nurse figured out why it does not suit me. It is demoralizing to deal with that many people, mostly by phone in my case, and not have the one on one interchange, face to face, that makes healing possible. I only help towards healing people by sorting through them and assigning a priority to thier need to see the physician. Surely, I do offer advice that may or may not be taken to help make their situation more tenable. But I do not have the opportunity to look them in the eye, touch them with permission, and allow some sort of healing energy to flow between us.
Healing is as much for the healer as the person petitioning for health. The dispensation of medications is no substitute for the energy exchanged between the two beings involved in the transaction. Whether as a nurse, a Reiki practitioner, a meningeal care practitioner or massage therapist, it is the interpersonal exchange, the hands on that recharges me even as I am giving something that will hopefully benefit the person with whom I work. That is not the case in office nursing for me.
The other thing I find most noxious, and true of the office in which I am currently employed, is the emphasis on numbers. Numbers of patients seen, financing from the government, money in, money out. There are times when I long for barter and a more defined exchange of energies: here's a chicken for your pot, some vegetables, an exchanged service- that used to serve as payment for services rendered. Perhaps I am over romanticizing it. Conversely, the system in which I am currently involved depersonalizes the exchange by involving dead presidents. I need to make my way out of this system and find a hybrid more suited to my style.
1 comment:
Ooo, pretty snow (and pretty picture, the asymetry actually adds a nice touch).
I really understand how you feel about office nursing. I'm working at a health clinic and it can be so frustrating sometimes. I may not be a nurse, but the emphasis on numbers seen is demoralizing. I went to see one of the docs at the clinic yesterday and he had maybe 10 minutes with me before he needed to see the next patient. Sometimes the curative clinic only has one doctor for the day and they are still expected to see 40 plus patients. It's a dreadful system, but if it weren't for the clinic many people here would get no medical care at all. Talk about depressing. As it is my job focuses on giving presenations and training to larger groups of people, and ocassionally working one on one with folks. I love it when I get to work face to face with someone. It really does increase the effect, especially if it is a healing situation. Anyway, I hope that you are soon able to (after getting back on your feet health wise that is) find a better position more suited to your skills and passions. ::hugs:: I know it exists and wish we had more medical practioners who had your level of caring.
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