I am feeling less suicidal today. Not much better other wise. Still febrile, still hacking crap from my lungs. Feeling very supported by others and feeling stupid to need the support. How's that for gratitude?
It's perfectly normal. You are an independent woman who is used to caring for herself and many others at the same time. It is not surprising at all that you feel like you shouldn't need the support. But good friends don't give support because the expect gratitude. They do it 'cause you're their friend and they want to.
Now if only I was at good at listening to my advice as dispencing it. :) I'm terrible about reaching for help when I need it. Heck I'm proud of myself for contacting the nurses here when my depression got worse all of a sudden. Took me a month before I managed that, but I managed it.
At least you did take care of it. Sometimes a month is a wonderfully short period of time, given the wider view. I like having your virtual support. I also like the fact that the folks who have access to this piece of writing know the black monster that is depression and I don't need to tart it up.
Not having to make light of depression is a wonderful thing. It's great to have people to talk to who *understand* and don't tell you "just snap out of it" or "how bad can it be." One of my challenges here is finding those who will at least try to understand and not back away slowly when I try to talk about things.
I'm a middle-aged woman who happens to be a Nurse. My kids have flown the coop but my dogs and cat remain faithful to the feed dish on the floor of our home.
3 comments:
It's perfectly normal. You are an independent woman who is used to caring for herself and many others at the same time. It is not surprising at all that you feel like you shouldn't need the support. But good friends don't give support because the expect gratitude. They do it 'cause you're their friend and they want to.
Now if only I was at good at listening to my advice as dispencing it. :) I'm terrible about reaching for help when I need it. Heck I'm proud of myself for contacting the nurses here when my depression got worse all of a sudden. Took me a month before I managed that, but I managed it.
At least you did take care of it. Sometimes a month is a wonderfully short period of time, given the wider view. I like having your virtual support. I also like the fact that the folks who have access to this piece of writing know the black monster that is depression and I don't need to tart it up.
Not having to make light of depression is a wonderful thing. It's great to have people to talk to who *understand* and don't tell you "just snap out of it" or "how bad can it be." One of my challenges here is finding those who will at least try to understand and not back away slowly when I try to talk about things.
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